you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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