it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize