Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
