And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize