Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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