this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
