That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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