Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
