Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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