Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
