:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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