I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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