Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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