I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
