For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
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that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
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I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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