Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Mom said you looked used
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
