I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
There's even glitter on my cock...
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