Your tits are I can't wait for
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
