just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
