To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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