Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
