you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Houston, we have a squirter
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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