I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
well you can't waste a boner
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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