The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Randomize
