do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
