I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
