I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
