i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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