I need help removing her.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
