I want to have your abortion
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
