i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
