I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
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and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
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I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER