Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.