yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.