I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
