another moral hangover. fuck.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
