I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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