I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
