On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
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Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
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Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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