he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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