The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Actions speak louder than pants.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
