Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
