Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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