Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
