I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Dick very happy bro
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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