Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize