idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
