I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Randomize
