so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
