its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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