he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
