apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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