Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
