I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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