I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
