they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
