3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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