Say something about gay babies.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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