Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
