there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
