Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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