He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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