i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize