That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
