After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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