So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
