drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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